You and I both
by Seren McGowan
Summary: Sam is everything Kurt is not, but he lacks everything Kurt doesn't. They struggle and they fight, and they get tangled together somewhere in between.
1. Chapter 1

**Notes**: Well, here's my first Glee fic. I never planned on writing anything about Glee (and if I had, it would have been some Quinn/Puck fluff or something) But I found a challenge at some livejournal about something like "Getting to know Sam" and so I though I would give it a try. Each chapter will be conformed by five diferent drabbles centering on some aspect of Sam's character, his life, past and relationship with Kurt. Right now Sam's a very fun character to write about because you can basically start from zero, and I really hope you like my take on him. I would love to read more takes on Sam, so if anyone knows a good story, tell me!  
I know than the actor for Sam has already been cast but...The Sam in my head is more like Sam Tsui (from youtube) The title of the story is taken of one of Sam's covers (You and I both, by Jason Mraz) I STRONGLY recomend everyone to listen to some of his covers (specially Firefies) he is simply AWESOME!

So...on with the story. Critics and coments are wellcome!

Dissclaimer: Own nothing. :(

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**You and I both**

_Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me?  
__Oh, things are gonna happen naturally_

* * *

**1. He's that kind of guy, you know...**

Sam has always been straightforward, and kind of honest (maybe a little too much) so when Finn points out which girls are free and which are not, he simply shrugs and says "I don't really swing that way."

Finn doesn't ask, and there are no notable changes as he keeps giving him a tour around the school, but Sam knows that he's been just a little too honest for a first meeting.

He considers explaining, but he's never been the one to explain himself to others, so he just let's it be.

He was going to find out sooner or later, anyway.

**2. Looks like a picture on a magazine**

His blond hair is not really that long, but it falls over his eyes and it's kind of annoying. His eyes are like a mix of blue and green, and they are so bright, they kind of sparkle. His skin is tanned and it makes him look like some kind of surfer. His lips are thin and always seem to be turned up on an almost-smile (because he smiles_ a lot) _

As he sees him walk down the hall, chatting animatedly with Puck and Finn, Kurt can't help but think that, if it wasn't because he's actually _there,_ that boy could have perfectly been photoshoped to look that way.

He's kind of gorgeous, actually. Not that Kurt's gonna say it out loud.

The only think Kurt doesn't like (hates, actually) is his clothing. He's wearing ragged jeans and a very old pair of converse (and Kurt thinks he should throw the whole outfit to the garbage and go shopping immediately) But the thing he hates the most is the fact that he's wearing a McKinley Football jacket.

He might me gorgeous, but Kurt decides that he hates him. (He's done being stepped on my jocks, anyway.)

**3. And they said he'd never survive**

When he came out of the closet, back at his old town, it hadn't been that big of a deal (except for that one thing that changed it all). His father had told him that he'd never survive highschool if he confessed he was gay.

But he did, it was inevitable.

He had to work harder (because no one takes a gay football player seriously if he's only good) So he spent hours practicing, running, training...He did everything that was necessary (including stuff he's not proud of at all) to be more than good. And then, more than better.

At the end, he became the best.

All of a sudden, it didn't matter that he was gay anymore. He was the football star, he was popular, and everything was fucking _perfect._

When his father realized that that..._gay thing_ was not going away, he kicked him out of his house and sent him to Lima to live with his mother.

So now, as the bleachers roar in excitement at McKinley's first victory of the season ( first one in decades, too) and he's praised and congratulated and _adored, _a satisfied smile grows on his lips.

His father was wrong. He survived.

4. **Incredible but true**

"But..you're a _dude_" Puck says, staring at him with a shocked expression plastered on his face.

Finn takes a long drink from his coke and nods, staring at Sam like he's just realized something really incredible "You don't act...you know, gay, like, at all"

Sam laughs and takes a bite of his hamburger (the food at the school cafeteria is not that good, but he doesn't really care)

"I might be gay, but I'm still a fucking _guy_"

He's very much a guy, actually; he likes sports, he likes to hit people, he sleeps around, he's bad-mouthed, his idea of fashion is limited to jeans, t-shirt and converses, he likes video games and action movies, he's uncomplicated and pretty simple and...well, he's a _dude_ (as Puck would say)

Finn and Puck nod in understanding, but they're still staring at Sam like he's park of a newly discovered species.

**5. But it's not really a secret**

The first time they talk, Kurt is being almost thrown into a container by Karofsky and Azimio, and Sam is simply having a bad day, so he starts a fight (with both) that ends with the two bullies in the infirmary and Kurt tending to Sam's black eye and broken lip in the boy's bathroom.

It's a little awkward and Kurt can't help but feel shivers up his spine every time his hands brush Sam's cheek as he cleans the blood of his lip.

"It's my first black eye at this school" Sam says, smiling at him (he looks all proud and manly) and it almost makes Kurt swoon.

He doesn't hate Sam anymore, because now he knows he has a chance.

Sam doesn't tell him, but Finn's not really good at keeping secrets and Kurt already knows.

It wasn't a secret, but after seeing what those guys (from the football team, what's really fucked up) were about to do to the (apparently) only other gay kid of the school, Sam decides that now it is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: **Well, no more long notes xD Just special thanks to all the people who have favourited/ alerted this story, and even more thanks to Zafira, Dutch92 and Jaiden Hawthorne, because they actually reviewed! Thanks a lot, and I hope you like this chapter!

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_Taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side  
__And balancing the whole thing_

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**6. For all those who know, and the one who doesn't**

Sam's been doing a recap of the people that know his secret (because, you know, it's a secret now) and has realized that there are far too many for his liking.

There's Santana, the cheerio who tried to sleep with him at the victory party. He had had to tell her, he's never been the one to lie.

Then there's the other cheerio, Brittany, he didn't tell her, but she seems to know everything Santana knows, somehow.

There's Finn and Puck, but well, they're not gonna tell anyone (He has to trust someone, eventually. He just hasn't chosen the right people)

Quinn Fabray knows. They've been paired up for a science project and he likes her, so he told her. She's told him about her pregnancy and all she had gone through last year. But now people part when she walks down the hall again. She's not a princess anymore, now she's a queen.

"You should talk to Kurt" She says, one day "He thinks he's the only gay around here, and it's been pretty hard for him." She suggests that he go talk to him, so Sam does.

Turns out Kurt already knew, too.

**7. He'd though he was the tough one**

Karofsky and Azimio don't like him very much. It's understandable, after he attacked them for no apparent reason. But they've been too quiet and too friendly and too _normal_. It makes Sam think that they're scheming something.

He's become kind of paranoid these days (Because he doesn't really like having a secret) He's never been scared of nothing before. Not even when he fist came out, because it just seem the natural thing to do. But now he's scared of slushies and dumpsters and big bullies who seem to _glare_ at him all the time.

"You will get used to it, eventually " Kurt says, as he grabs his books from his locker "I don't really see the point in keeping it a secret because you're scared of someone who will end up cleaning your pool or washing your car, anyways."

Sam follows him through the halls as they head for class, trying to look as awesome as possible, so no one will throw him a slushie just for talking to Kurt.

"It's not them. They're just fucking assholes who don't even..." Kurt shots him a warning glance (He's already told him he should watch his language) and Sam sighs "I can't loose the respect. Y'know? Football's my future."

Kurt just shrugs and stops before entering the classroom.

"Gay or not gay, you're still the best player in Lima, probably in all Ohio. You shouldn't hide who you are just because you're scared that people who are beneath you won't accept you."

Then, with one last glance, he walks (head held high and eyes narrowed with superiority) towards his seat at the front of the class, next to Mercedes.

Sam sees something in Kurt Hummel then, a kind of fragile toughness he hadn't seen before.

And he find himself inexplicably drawn to him.

**8. Everybody loves a star**

He knows he's being ridiculous.

But he's still can bring himself to come clean, and this secret is eating him away; he's moody and snaps at anything and jumps at any sign of alarm, and is being so unlike him that it gives him the creeps.

Every time he decides that he's gonna stop pretending to be what he's not, he just sees the way that people stare at him; the way the girls swoon and the guys open up at him with ease. He's a _star_, and he loves it so much that that though of loosing it scares him to hell.

He loves the way the bleaches chant his name after every game (because he's the star, because he's the best, because he's earned it) and he loves being the cool guy and hanging with the cool crowd.

He pretends not to see the disappointed looks Kurt throws at him, but he does.

And, somehow, it makes him feel like that all that things he loves aren't really worth it.

**9. He loves to keep things simple**

Sam is a very simple guy, he likes for everything to be out in the open, and he hates secrets and lies and conspiracy and all those things that make life too complicated to be enjoyed.

But he's been all about secrets and lies lately, and he's not enjoying it at all.

"There's a rumor that you're gay circulating around the Cheerios" Quinn says one day, as they walk towards the cafeteria.

"You should just, you know, come out of the closet or whatever, man, we'll all back you up" Assures Puck, throwing an arm around Quinn's shoulders and giving Sam a very "ready for war" look.

Sam doesn't know who "we all" are, but he still thinks they would not be nearly enough to protect him from the public humiliation he is bound to receive.

But Kurt doesn't talk to him and keeps looking at him with lips frowned and disappointed eyes, and Sam just wishes everything was more simple.

**10. Fists talk better than words**

He knows the secret is out when he hears the whispers as he walks down the hall, a few days later. He's a little freaked out and he expects to be greeted with a slushie at every corner he turns, but that doesn't happen.

Actually, _nothing_ happens, at all.

Football practice goes by and yes, there are looks and whispers and pseudo-funny comments, but that's all.

Sam's just beginning to think that Kurt was right, when Azimio comes out of nowhere and throws a slushie at his face.

"Get used to it, fag" He laughs, and Sam realizes that he's just not capable of taking that shit.

So he decides that he'll gain back the status he's lost the only way he knows-by fighting his way back to the top.

Beating up Azimio is just the first step.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes:** Again, thanks to all those who favourited/alerted this story, I would really like to know what yoou think, so please leave a review next time (pretty pease?) And very very special thanks to Amanda and Dutch92 (I'm so happy you find my take on Sam likeable! I hope you keep liking him!) because they're awesome and they reviewed.  
Also, I won't be uploading next chapter until I get at least tree reviews, because you know, a whriter always needs something to work with! (It will make my Muse really really happy, too)

**VERY** important: When you get to the part where Sam sings, listen to this: www . youtube . com/watch?v=FJ1Xki_CgCo because it's simply awesome and it's like I picture Sam's voice to be. If the link doesn't work, it's Sam Tsui's cover for Fireflies, by Owl City. You can find it in youtube.

Now, on with the show!

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_Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in lines  
__And the bright light turns to night_

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**11. All gone and lost**

Sam's not been doing very good lately.

The good part is that now that he's beaten up almost everyone who dared call him gay, most people think that it was just a rumor, and that he is totally straight (a douchebag, but straight, and that's what matters)

He's back to being the star, but he simply doesn't...shine anymore.

All those things he loved are not the same, because he is not the same.

Its not like him at all to beat up people (he doesn't usually get slushied or insulted, eider, but it's not really an excuse) And it's totally not like him to be mad like, all the time.

Keeping up with his charade is taking it's toll on him, and everything he liked about being popular it's now so...twisted, that he doesn't think it's worth the effort anymore.

Kurt glances at him sometimes, and realizes that, somewhere along the way, Sam stopped smiling.

**12. It scares him to hell**

"Please explain it to me, because I fail to understand why would you keep doing this when it's pretty obvious that you're not comfortable with the current situation."

Kurt is tired of Sam being so paranoid and angry, so he just asks, because even if he knows that it's difficult (it was difficult for him too, after all) he also knows that pretending that it's not what it is will only make things worse on the long run.

It's already making Sam a worse person.

Sam sighs and closes his history book, turning to look at Kurt.

"I_ am_ happy with the current situation. And my sexuality is not anyone's business anyways."

Kurt shrugs and stares at his nails for a moment.

"You know what think? I think you are scared of being gay."

"I'm not _fuking_ scared of being gay." Sam snaps in an almost whisper (because they're at the library, and even though it's not the right place to have this conversation, things with them have never been completely _right_.)

"Then what are you scared of? Because punching anyone who calls you gay is not the best way to demonstrate that you're...not" Kurt's looking at him now; blue eyes almost transparent and lips slightly frowned.

Sam sighs and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

"I'm scared of loosing all that I've worked so hard for." He stares back at Kurt, trying to make him understand. "I'm not strong like you. I simply can't risk loosing _everything_."

Kurt grabs his books and stands up, avoiding his gaze.

"You're already loosing it, Sam, and not precisely because you're gay."

**13. He's not really in love...not at all**

Kurt is back to not talking to him, and for some reason, Sam really doesn't like it.

He's not in love, not with Kurt, of all people, because he's self righteous, preppy, girly, sarcastic, a drama queen, and well...he's somewhat adorable. Sometimes.

But he's known him for only three months and already he can't stand it when he talks to other guys. And it really pisses him off when he shots longing stares at Finn.

And he just can't help but wish that those looks were directed to _him_. (But he is SO not in love)

"If you really want to have a shot with Kurt, you should show him that you care, you know, by doing something that matters to him or something." Quinn suggests one day, as they work on their science project.

So Sam joins Glee club, because it's the only think he can think of that will make Kurt talk to him again.

But he's not desperate (Even though he really, really, doesn't want to join Glee club). And he's not in love.

At all.

**14. I'd like to make myself believe**

Both Finn and Puck tell him that joining Glee is not going to do any good to his already controversial reputation, but, as he stands before Kurt and the rest of the Glee kids for his audition, Sam realizes that he doesn't care.

He's a football star, he's popular, so he can do whatever he wants.

And he really, really, really want's Kurt Hummel to like him. (Maybe he's a little desperate, just a little)

So he takes a breath, and prepares for whatever the hell comes next.

You would not believe your eyes  
If ten million fireflies  
Lit up the world as I fell asleep  
Cause they fill the open air  
And leave teardrops everywhere  
You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe  
That Planet Earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake  
When I'm asleep  
Cause everything is never as it seems

Cause I'd get a thousand hugs  
From ten thousand lightning bugs  
As they tried to teach me how to dance  
A foxtrot above my head  
A sock-hop beneath my bed  
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe  
That Planet Earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake  
When I'm asleep  
Cause everything is never as it seems

Leave my door open just a crack  
(Please take me away from here)  
Cause I feel like such an insomniac  
(Please take me away from here)  
Why do I tire of counting sheep?  
(Please take me away from here)  
When I'm fat too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies  
I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes  
I got misty eyes as they said farewell  
But I'll know where several are  
If my dreams get real bizarre  
Cause I saved a few and I kept them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe  
That Planet Earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake  
When I'm asleep  
Cause everything is never as it seems

Sam tries to make himself believe that he didn't enjoy it.

It doesn't work.

**15. Well, that was unexpected**

The general reaction towards Sam's performance is silence.

Quinn's eyes are watery and she's gripping Puck's hand as tight as she can. Santana and Brittany are holding hands and smiling so bright it's almost impossible (at least for Santana) Tina is covering her mouth with one hand and gripping the back of Artie's wheelchair with the other. Rachel is staring, mouth agape, like she's just found her match in the world, and Finn, Matt, Mike, Artie and Puck are staring in complete awe.

Kurt's eyes are almost as transparent as ever, glistering, his mouth's slightly open and he really want's to say something.

But the words get tangled up in his tongue and he says nothing.

Mr. Shue seems to react and takes a step forwards to lay a hand on Sam's shoulder, smiling brightly.

"Welcome to New Directions, Sam" He says, smiling even brighter.

And then the room bursts to life and the sound of frantic applauds and whistles fills the air, and Sam finds himself smiling for the first time in a long time.

That's the moment when Kurt Hummel realizes that he's in love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes: **_I've read somewhere today that Sam's not going to be Kurt's boyfriend,and trully, I don't care, so this story is going to continue it's way! Actually, I'm a little relieved, because Chord Overstreet had something that I didn't like (I thinks his face is strange xD) And, it means that Sam Tsui might still have a chance!_

_Special thanks to **Dutch92, Amanda **and** BridgesOfSighs**, because it's thanks to you three that this chapter is up! I hope it doesn't dissapoint!_

_

* * *

_

_And with this silence brings a moral story  
__More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy._

_

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_

**16. He want's out of the spotlight**

Finn really tries not to show it, but Sam notices (Finn's never been good at hiding his feelings anyway); he is jealous, like, really jealous, and the fact that Rachel is all over Sam during Glee rehearsals doesn't help at all.

"If you got something to say, just say it already, man"

Finn looks away , because he really does like Sam, but he's not used to not being..."the guy"

"I think coach's gonna make you team captain" He says at last, even though is not just that.

Sam scoffs and keeps running (they're running side by side at football practice, and if he talks too much he'll run out of air.)

"That's bullshit"

"And 's been giving you all the solo's lately" There it is, he said it. (The fact that not being the Glee star bothers him more than not being the football star should worry him, but somehow it doesn't)

Sam stops suddenly and Finn almost trips with his own feet.

"I don't want those solo's. There's only one reason for me to be in Glee, and you know it's not to sing with Rachel Berry all the time. No offense, dude, but she creeps me out."

The fact that Sam has just said that his girlfriend is creepy should piss Finn of, but truth is, it only makes him a little less jealous.

He still doesn't like the fact that Sam's stealing his spotlight, but knowing that he doesn't want it makes it a little easier to deal with.

**17. Reality check**

Glee club is by far the most enjoyable thing he's done in his life. As strange as it seems, he has come to look forward to Glee practices, and has even gone as far as to rehearse some songs with Rachel Berry, who is a very very irritating (and insistent) person.

But when one of the football players throws him a slushie in the face, Sam comes back to reality and decides that his times at Glee are over.

He loved the way Kurt stared at him with adoration as he sang, and he loved the way Kurt's voice sounded when he preformed a song he particularly liked. And he loved the fact that he was back in Kurt's right side.

He has to admit it, he's whipped.

But he simply can't throw his chances of being someone just because he's in love...oh, crap.

**18. They meet somewhere in between**

"You just can't keep doing that!" Kurt screams at him.

Glee practice is over and Sam has announced that he's quitting. They are alone in the choir room and Kurt is simply _tired_.

"I don't know what you're talking about..."

"Like _hell_ you don't know!" They stare at each other for a moment, and then Kurt calms down and continues, in a lower tone " You can't keep coming closer and then walking away , only to come closer again and walk away again and again and again...It just _doesn't work like that_, Sam."

"You have _no_ idea what you're talking about. You know why I'm quitting Glee so don't..."

"I don't!" Kurt's back at screaming, and his eyes are beginning to tear up "_Why_ are you quitting Glee, Sam? _Why_? Because you can't handle being slushied? Because you're scared of being rejected by the in crowd? Because you don't want people to find out that _you're gay_?"

"That's not it and you know it! Cut it already with the "closeted gay" crap! For fuck's sake Kurt, I'm not scared of being _fucking_ gay!"

"But you think that a gay guy can't have what you have."

Silence overcomes then, and Sam realizes for the first time just how _twisted_ everything has become.(How can something that could be so awesome be so...painful?)

He walks up to Kurt, who is breathing hard and trying desperately to hold back the tears.

"I am sorry." Sam murmurs, grabbing Kurt's cheeks softly and leaning down for a kiss.

When he leaves the choir room, he doesn't look back.

**19. A little friend intervention**

"You are an asshole" Mercedes states, cornering him in his locker the next day. "Now listen to me white boy; You gonna stop messing with my boy Kurt's head, because he's been pushed around by jocks like you enough already."

Sam is speechless. He want's to say something, but he knows that nothing he says would make Mercedes understand why he's doing what he's doing. So he says the only thing that doesn't seem forced.

"I know" He tries to meet her gaze, but he can't "I'm sorry."

Mercedes sees it then, in the way Sam avoids her eyes, in the way he hides his hands in his pockets, in the way his eyes lack that sparkle that made people adore him instantly.

Mercedes sees, and, even though Sam doesn't now it, she understands.

"I was a Cheerio once" She says, voice suddenly lower, calmer, and almost warm "I was popular and it was awesome. I felt like anything could touch me, like I could do whatever I wanted, because I was there, y'know? I was there at the top." She takes a breath and shoots Sam a serious look. "But no one that mattered was there with me."

Sam stares at her in what seems like confusion, so Mercedes sighs and rolls her eyes.

"You jocks are all the same, brain's empty as a school parkin' lot on a Saturday." She hardens her gaze "That's you at the top, you got all those things you want, and I hope it's enough, because you don't seem to have nothin' more."

Mercedes leaves and Sam says nothing. He had understood, all of it.

He just didn't know what to say.

**20. Listen to the Puckerman**

They've just won another game.

And another and another, and they keep winning, and they are suddenly one of the best teams of Ohio, and colleges are sending people over to watch them.

"I can't believe it" Puck says one day, as he takes of his dirty football uniform. "It's like, fuckin' amazing"

Sam laughs and tosses his shoulder pads into his locker.

"We're gonna get scholarships and we're off this town for good."

"Hell yeah, Quinn's gonna be like, so damn proud, I might even be able to go to college with her. How awesome would that be?"

And Sam is silent for a moment, then he asks.

"You two have been through a lot together, no?"

Puck takes his shirt of and lets it fall tot he floor.

"And it was sooooo worth it" He says, lips curving on a wolfish grin. "True it was pretty bad for a while, and she wouldn't even look at me some days. I even got thrown into the dumpster by the nerds!"

"Wasn't it hard? Loosing you status and all?"

Puck shrugs.

"I'm here, aren't I? And I've got the most amazing girlfriend ever (even though he's not sure if they're together, he knows she's kinda' his, and he's kinda' hers) And well, it wasn't nice being slushied and stuff, but in the end it was totally worth it. " He smiles that Puckerman smile "Plus, I'm on the team,I'm on Glee, I got the girl, and I still throw nerds into the dumpster."

Sam nods and smiles slightly, heading for the showers.

As he watches him leave, Puck smirks proudly and follows; everyone may think he's a dumb jock, but he's intelligent enough to know when a conversation is not about him.


	5. Chapter 5

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**Notes: **_Well, my muse if kind of...off lately, must be the lack of reviews or something uxu I was thinking of not continuing, but I don't really like leaving stories unfinished, so here it is, another chapter!  
The thing about Mike Chang, I don't know, It always seemed strange to me the fact that Mike and Matt never get slushied (or bullied, for that matter) so I just gave a hint to something that, well,just popped into my head, please, tell me what you think!_

_Special thanks to **tottalysuck**, because it was the only review for last chapter and because it's awesome that I'm not the only one that pictures Sam Tsui as Sam!_

_Also, the song is "What you mean to me", by Sterling Knight._

* * *

_And if you could see me now  
__Well then, I'm almost finally out of, well, I'm almost finally, finally...  
__Well, I am free, oh, I'm free._

_

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**21. All the reasons why**

Sam knows there are a million reasons why he shouldn't fall in love with Kurt Hummel (even though it's a little late for that); Kurt is selfish, childish, uptight, arrogant, sarcastic, self righteous, dramatic, girly and extremely emotional at times.

Sam knows all that, and he knows that there's no way that Kurt will forgive him after all he's done (or rather, said, denied, and lied about) but he's tired of pretending that it's not there, lingering in his chest, threatening to spill right from his lips.

Sam Evans is in love with Kurt Hummel, that is that.

He knows there are reasons he should fall in love with Kurt, too. Kurt is sweet, funny (in a twisted kind of way) understanding, proud, intelligent, a good friend, and, well, Sam just likes who he is when he is around Kurt.

So all the reasons against falling for Kurt don't really matter in the end.

**22. Brave new world**

He spots Karofsky, Azimio and other football players cornering Kurt against a dumpster one morning, and something inside Sam just snaps.

He is tired of lying, he is tired of pretending, he is tired of being mad, he is tired of being tired.

And, most of all, he is tired of hiding.

He has no hopes in winning a fight against five football players all on his own, so, when he steps in front of Kurt, he knows he's gonna get beaten. Bad.

"Protecting your boyfriend, Evans?" They all laugh, but its still a friendly joke.

"Fag number two is finally coming out of the closet" Azimio says; it's not a joke anymore, and it's definitely not friendly.

Silence falls upon them, and Sam can feel Kurt grasping hist-shirt from behind.

It's now or never.

"Well, yeah, I am" He hold's Azimio's gaze and squares his shoulders, standing tall. " I am gay, and if you got a problem with that, s'okay, because I don't fucking care."

As the invisible weigh lifts of his shoulders, Sam feels brave.

But he is so, so screwed.

**23. He doesn't really want to know**

He though he was prepared for everything; a beat up, a slushie facial, being thrown into the dumpster...

But as Mike Chang walks up to them and flashes them a casual smile, Sam realizes that he's not prepared for what's about to happen, whatever that is.

"So, what's going on?" Mike asks, eying the football players, and then Sam, and then Kurt, who has finally stepped out from behind him and is now standing by his side.

The jocks fall suddenly silent; it's awkward and strange, and there's something dangerous about it all.

Then Sam notices Mike's bruised and scarred knuckles, he notices the way his smirk is a little too confident and the way he parts his legs, standing firmly before them. He notices the glint in his eyes, and he just knows.

He's been in enough street fights to recognize the signs.

The jocks mumble something and leave without looking back. Mike arches an eyebrow and stares at them.

"Well, that was awkward" Then he laughs, and tells them they're late for Glee.

Sam decides right there and then that there are things about Mike Chang that he really, really doesn't want to know.

**24. All the things that he'd go through**

"You are going to have to do something so awesome that he simply can't ignore" Quinn says the next day, as they walk together to fist period.

"Something like confessing I'm gay in front of almost the whole football team?" Sam asks, annoyed "Why can't he just forgive me already? I mean, what more can I do?"

He really thought that Kurt would forgive him after the whole dumpster incident, but he's still not talking to him and Sam (who is just as clueless as any other guy) simply doesn't know what to do.

"I know you don't think that everything can be fixed with a song-but...this is Kurt we are talking about. Just do what you think he'll like.""

She's not really telling him what to do (not directly) but she's somehow pointing him on the right direction. Sam really hopes he understood well, because he's already done everything wrong.

Two days later he's standing in front of the whole Glee club, a lump in his throat and kind of tongue tied.

"I can't do this" He whispers at Puck, who's sitting on a chair beside him, holding his guitar. "I really, really can't"

"Cmon' dude, don't be such a girl" Puk laughs and punches Sam's arm. "This is soo gonna work!"

Sam hopes it does, because if it doesn't he really doesn't know what else to do.

"So, I..." His voice quivers. Kurt stares at him. God, he's nervous. "I kinda' own an apology to someone very special and... "He passes a hand through his hair and shakes his head, frustrated. "God, fuck, Kurt, I'm sorry, okay?"

He makes a sign for Puck to start playing and, taking a deep breath, he let's himself go.

Can't blame you for thinking  
That you never really knew me at all  
I tried to deny you  
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong

I though I was protecting you  
From all the things that I'd go through  
But I know that we got lost along the way  
Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand  
I know I let you down but I'm never gonna make that mistake again

You brought me closer to who I really am  
Come take my hand  
I want the world to see, what you mean to me

Just know that I'm sorry  
I never wanted to make you feel so small  
Our story is just beginning  
So let the truth break down this walls

And every time I think of you  
I think of how you pushed me through  
And show me how much better I could be  
You make me feel like I'm myself  
Instead of being someone else  
I wanna live that every day

You say what no one else would say  
You know exactly how to get to me  
You know is what I mean...

I want the world to see what you mean to me...

**25. He's got his reasons, too**

Kurt knows that there are thousands of reasons why he shouldn't let himself fall in love with Sam Evans (it's a little too late for that); Sam is selfish, insecure, problematic, unstable, a jock, a little slow, far too simple minded, impulsive, kind of bipolar, has anger management problems, dresses like a homeless, and..well...he's hurt Kurt enough to last a lifetime.

And Kurt is tired of being pushed around, tired of being messed with, tired of being always second best, and most of all, he is tired of never getting what he wants.

But Sam is there, throwing away that image he had tried so hard to build, singing for him, like, really for him, and staring at him with hopeful eyes, and he has that so so beautiful voice...

And Kurt realizes that there are reasons why he should fall in love with Sam, too. Sam is good, he's nice and has no prejudices, he is easygoing and friendly and adorable and everything seems to be better when he's around. And Kurt wants him.

So when the song ends and he throws himself to Sam's arms, tears streaming down his face, Kurt knows that all the reasons why he shouldn't love Sam don't mater at all.

Because he's kissing him, and Sam is kissing back, and, for the first time, that's all that matters.

Kurt is finally getting something he wants.


	6. Chapter 6

__

**Notes:** Hi everyone! OMG I really didn't expect to get so many reviews for last chapter...It was awesome, really, and it helped me through this chapter, because I'm really really running out of ideas. Basically, everything has been said and Kurt and Sam are already a couple, so, one more chapter to go, and this story is over. I'm sorry I took so long to update, but my summer work is taking a lot of time, I promise next chapter will be up sooner!

Special thanks to **Dutch92, BridgesOfSighs, Jaiden Hawthorne, the_darkness_revealed **and **Jonzeygirl**, I'm so sorry I doubdet you guys, and your revies make me so so so happy! This story is still alive because of you!

I'm thinking on writing something about all that crazy idead I have about Mike Chang...would it be a good idea?

* * *

_More words than I had ever heard_  
_And I feel so alive_

* * *

**26. Wake up from the dream**

As he walks through the school doors next morning, arm laced with Mercedes's, Kurt can't fight the horrible feeling that taken over him since he woke up.

It was all a dream. Yesterday didn't happen, and it will never happen.

He's scared to voice his fears (even to Mercedes) because he couldn't bear it if he was right.

But he _knows_ he's right. He knows, because it's impossible that something so awesome would happen to him. It's impossible that someone like Sam would be in love with someone like him.

Kurt knows; he's not meant to be this happy, he's not meant to have what he want's.

But then, suddenly, Mercedes's arm is no longer laced with his and her voice is teasing as she nudges him with her shoulder, smiling.

"There comes your hot-as-hell white guy of a boyfriend."

_Boyfried_.

The word echoes in Kurt's head long before Mercedes has left, and he's brought back to reality by a voice that came right out of his dreams.

"Mornin' Hummel."

Sam is in front of him, smile wide and green-blue eyes sparkling.

And even though it does seem like a dream, Kurt _knows_ it's not.

Because Sam never wears those horrible, ragged and dirty converses in his dreams.

**27. Out in public, they live**

Sam has never had a problem with showing affection in public.

But, with all that has happened, he thought that it would be more difficult for him to act normal around Kurt in the middle of the school.

Surprisingly, it's not.

He kisses Kurt in the morning, in the middle of the hall, and it's _so fucking perfect_ that he can't bring himself to care about who's looking and who's not.

He put's an arm around his small shoulders as they walk, together, and finds himself enjoying the stares and the whispers and the side glances.

He smiles, and all he an think of is : _Mine._

So they kiss in the halls, they make out in the bathroom, they steal kisses in between classes and during Glee club hour.

And it' feels so _damn right_ that Sam doesn't remember what was it that he was so scared about in the first place.

**28. She's not jealous, really...**

As she watches them..._be_, she can't help but hate Sam just a little.

They are in Glee practice and Sam is sprawled on a chair with legs wide open (a very very manly way of sitting, she thinks) Kurt is sitting cross legged on the chair in front of him, a little lower, settled between his open legs. They're not really doing anything but listen to , but she's _watching_ them, and she notices.

She notices that Sam often leans to murmur something to Kurt's ear, and it makes Kurt smile.

She _should_ be the one to make Kurt smile.

Sometimes, Kurt would lean his head against Sam's leg, and Sam would caress the back of his neck so very lightly, making him sigh.

She could be that gentle too, she could make Kurt sigh.

More often than not, Sam absentmindedly runs his fingers through Kurt's hair, and Kurt lets him do as he pleases.

Kurt doesn't let _anyone_ touch his hair. Not even her.

She knows Kurt could never love her, but she can't help but feel like he should. Because she's been there since the beginning, because she has never hurt him, she never will. But Sam will, he has hurt him and he will do it again, and she could make him happy. She _knows_ she could. Sam will break his heart, he will...

No, it's not fair, she knows she's not being fair at all.

Kurt is happy, so Mercedes is happy.

But still, sometimes, she can't help but feel that it should have been her.

**29. There are a lot of things he's not used to**

Kurt is not used to this.

He's not used to walking into school and being greeted by a kiss, he's not used to flee of his bed every morning with the excitement of a ten year old on Christmas morning. He's not used to have someone waiting for him in his car at the end of school, or picking him up at his house to go out...

He's not used to being this _happy_.

He is not used to have someone compliment him (though in a very inappropriate way) everyday, and he's not used to having someone buying him lunch, and ice cream, and doing whatever he wants whenever he wants.

He's not used to being this spoiled by someone who's not his father.

He's not used to have someone trying to be better, just for him.

Yeah, Kurt is not used to any of those things, but he's getting there.

What were the reasons why he shouldn't be with Sam again?

**30. He might fail, but he never gives up.**

Sam is clueless.

He really, _really_ doesn't understand what the hell he did wrong. One day Kurt is all over him and the next day he's not even speaking.

Yes, he flirts with the cheerleaders, but hell, he enjoys the attention. And he's late for their dates sometimes (most of the time) it's not like he doesn't care, he cares, he just...forgets, sometimes.

He is not perfect like Kurt, who always knows what to say and what to do and is never late for anything.

Sometimes he doesn't have time to change out of his uniform after practice, and Kurt complains that he smells and looks like a homeless, he doesn't even want to kiss him, for God's sake!

Ok, so he's a guy. What's to bad about that? He is trying. He is really trying, so _damn_ hard.

He knows Kurt loves him, and he's practically whipped.

But it's so hard to be all the Kurt wants...

He's _trying_.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes:** Well, here it is, final chapter. It's all been said and done between this two, so I hope you like the end of story. I hope to see more Sam/Kurt, because they're sooooooooooo much fun to write and read! I'm also thinking about writing something about Mike Chang...but I'm not sure if anyone would read, so it's just a though for now.

Thank you to all my reviewers, because this story would have been abandoned long ago if it hadn't been for you. I really really hope you like the end. I know in last chapter it seemed that Sam was a little tired of Kurt, but hey, I really think that Kurt is very difficult to please, and, let's be honest, you can't have a perfect relationship from one day to another. But they'll get there, I promise!

Special thanks to **BridgesOfSighs** and **Randomlygifted**, because they reviewed last chapter!

* * *

_'Cause I remember everything you sang  
__You and I both loved_

* * *

**31. A little revelation**

"I'm sorry" Sam blurts out, awkwardly. "I know I'm doing it all wrong and It seems like I don't care, but _I do_, I do care and I'm trying, but I've never done this before and It's difficult and..."

Kurt suddenly raises his hand to stop his ramblings.

"Wait! What do you exactly mean by "I have never done this before"?"

Sam sighs and lets himself fall back on Kurt's bed, starring at the ceiling.

"I've always been more a "one night stand" kind of guy." He admits.

Kurt stares at him from his spot, sitting on his vanity's chair.

"Why are you doing this, then?" He asks, suddenly scared (because sex hasn't been part of their relationship thus far, and suddenly it seems very, very important)

Sam closes his eyes and groans, frustrated.

"Because it's you. Because I want to be with _you_, like, _just_ you. And I'm trying so _fucking_ hard..." He sits up then, staring straight at Kurt's eyes. " I don't know the right words, and everything I do never comes out right and I mess up a lot...but I _am _trying, really."

He's staring at him, disheveled blond hair falling in his eyes and green-blue eyes filled with concern, and Kurt realizes for the first time just how _hard _he's been on him.

"I know" He murmurs, standing up and walking up to him to sit on his lap, facing him. "I'm sorry"

It's about time he starts trying, too.

**32. He knows he's not easy**

Kurt has been analyzing his behavior towards Sam lately.

Since that day in his room, he's realized that he's not been giving Sam enough credit for all the things he's been doing. Things that seemed normal before are not anymore.

He _demands_ things from Sam that he's not willing to do himself, and now that he has noticed, it doesn't feel right.

He also expects Sam to always know what he wants and what he thinks without having to tell him, but Sam can't read his mind, and Kurt gets mad without a logical reason.

He doesn't show Sam his affection openly, because so many years of bullying have taken their toll on him. But it has been hard on Sam too, and Sam never holds back, not even in public.

He loves Sam, but he hasn't really _showed _him.

It's like he expects Sam to love him without getting anything in return (and basically, that's what he's been doing) It's not fair. Kurt _knows_.

He has been so worried trying to turn Sam into the perfect boyfriend, that he missed out on the fact that he himself has been a crappy one.

**33. Knight in ragged jeans and dirty converse**

"Well, where are your crazy Asian bodyguard and gayface boyfriend?" Azimio asks, walking towards Kurt.

"Seems you're all alone now, princess" Karofsky adds, evil smile playing on his lips.

Kurt backs away until his back hits the wall, and then he's sure that going to his car to pick up his history book in the middle of the class was definitely _not_ a good idea.

"Can't you give it up already? Your barbaric antics are growing old." He tries to sound calm, but it doesn't work.

Karofsky takes a step closer, cracking his knuckles, and opens his mouth to say something, only to be cut by a new voice behind him.

"Fuck, you really _are_ damn stupid, aren't you guys?"

The two bullies turn around to face the intruder, and are greeted by a fist in the face.

Kurt watches, paralyzed, as Sam fights them both until he's bloodied and exhausted and the two jocks have retired, angry and defeated.

"You okay?" Sam asks sweetly, still breathing hard, walking up to him and nuzzling his cheek.

"I...I'm fine...You, you...you are okay?" His voice quivers and he's trembling, not because of the beat up he was about to receive, but because of Sam (he looks like he could crush the whole football team right then and there)

Because he's never seen Sam so _angry_ before, and it's definitely a scary sight.

"I'm good" Sam's strong arms wrap around him in a strong hug. "I'm here now. I'm gonna take care of you, I promise."

Kurt is not trembling anymore, because Sam's arms are strong and firm around him, and his voice is sweet and caring and it makes him feel _safe_.

Kurt had never felt safe before.

**34. There's a first time for everything**

Kurt is staring up at him with half-lidded eyes when he kisses him, long and hard.

They're a mess off tangled legs and arms and sheets, touching and brushing and kissing every inch of exposed skin.

Sam knew it was going to happen the moment Kurt invited him over ("Everyone's gone for the weekend" he said) But he really doesn't believe that Kurt is ready.

He seems ready, though.

His soft lips are nibbling at his ear and he is arching to him and Sam is slowly loosing control.

"Kurt stop, stop..." He pushes himself off the smaller boy, resting his weigh on his arms and shaking his head. He's going to loose control, and he doesn't want to scare him away.

"Don't stop" Kurt murmurs, soft breath caressing his ear, small hands pulling his t-shit and unzipping his jeans.

Oh _God_.

The room disappears in a blur and suddenly everything is moving too fast for Sam to know what's happening. He's not holding back anymore and shirts and pants and boxers are flying around the room and there's hard muscle pressed to soft flesh and moans and groans and pants and sweet nothings whispered out of breath.

Then the moment comes, he gets ready, he thrusts forward, lifting Kurt's hips with one hand and lifting himself slightly from the bed with the other.

Kurt closes his eyes and lets out a soft cry, gripping the blankets until his knuckles go white.

Sam snaps out of his sex frenzy, slows the rhythm of his thrusts, and stares down at Kurt, freaking out for a moment.

He's hurt him. Oh, fuck, he's hurt him.

But Kurt is staring at him, wide baby blue eyes as clear as ever and a small smile on his lips. He reaches to his hair with one hand and runs his fingers through the sweaty strands and it's all so so tender that Sam can't help but relax.

Kurt eyes remain locked on his, and Sam finally feels like he's doing something_ right_.

**35. The morning after**

Kurt rolls to his side and yawns, and tries to stretch, but his body is so sore he can barely move, so he decides to remain still.

He opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is Sam's beautiful sleeping face, hair falling over his closed eyes in that way that is kind of annoying, but so utterly adorable. His arms are folded under the pillow, and Kurt can see the strong muscles of his tanned forearm flexing slightly.

Is this real? It is, it's _real_. He knows, there's no doubt anymore. There are _marks_ over Sam's body, and over his, that prove that this is real.

His lips curve into a broad smile as reality sinks in and he presses his lips to Sam's, driven by an impulse.

Sam smiles and deepens the kiss, moving forward to press against Kurt.

"I have a boner" He says, eyes still closed and lips still brushing Kurt's.

Kurt slaps his chest and smiles at Sam's throaty laugh.

"You're so vulgar" Kurt musters, jokingly glaring at him.

Sam opens his eyes and their gazes meet. They stay like that, just staring int each other eyes for what seems like and eternity until Kurt finally breaks the silence, voice barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry I have been such a bad boyfriend"

"You have been a _perfect_ boyfriend" Sam says, lips curved to a side grin, moving his arms from under the pillow and wrapping them around Kurt's waist, bringing him even closer.

Kurt frowns and tries to move back.

"I'm serious, Samuel."

Sam sighs and lets go of him, passing a hand through his face.

"I know, I know..." He stares at Kurt through half-lidded eyes "It's ok. We're both new to this, we'll make it through."

Kurt nods and smiles slightly, pressing himself against Sam again.

"We will be okay."

Sam smiles and nibbles at the smaller boy's ear.

"I still have a boner, though."


	8. Epilogue

**Notes: **I am one of those people that think that no story is finished without an epilogue. The first song is _Can I have this dance?_ from HSM 3 and the second (in wich this story is based) is_ You and I both _from Jazon Mraz. Sam Tsui has covers for both of them in youtube, you MUST listen to them, he is awesome.

**

* * *

**

_I'm almost finally out of words_

_

* * *

_

Is not like he hasn't sang for Kurt before.

He shouldn't be so nervous, but he somehow is. This is not just a song, This is the_ perfect _song for the _perfect_ question, for the _perfect_ highschool end.

They have been doing good, going strong, and this will be the ultimate gesture from Sam to Kurt.

"If Finn did that for me, I'd marry him straight away." Rachel said, when she was helping him rehears "Not that I am not going to marry him _anyways._"

He's here now, in his empty house, in the middle of his living room, with all the furniture moved to the sides (his mother will probably kill him later), lights of and a hundred red candles illuminating the room.

He's wearing the tux he'll wear to prom, and he thinks he's never been more nervous in his life.

Then the door opens and Kurt steps in, unsure, but stops frozen In place when he spots Sam in the middle of the cleared out living room.

Sam smiles slightly, presses play on the control he's been holding, and walks up to Kurt, dropping the control on the sofa as he passes by.

"Sam what...?"

Then the music starts to play, Sam tends his hand to Kurt, and everything else in the world disappears.

Take my hand, take a breath  
Pull me close, and take one step  
Keep your eyes locked on mine  
And let the music be your guide

Won't you promise me that you'll never forget  
To keep dancing wherever we go next?

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you  
It's one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do  
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better  
So can I have this dance?  
Can I have this dance?

Take my hand, I'll take the lead  
And every turn will be safe with me  
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall  
You know I'll catch you through it all

And you can't keep us apart  
Even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart  
'Cause my heart is wherever you are

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you  
It's one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do  
Ad with every step together, we just keep on getting better  
So can I have this dance?  
Can I have this dance?

No mountain's too high and no ocean's too wide  
Cause together or not, our dance won't stop  
Let it rain, let it pour, what we have is worth fighting for  
You know I believe that we were meant to be

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you  
It's one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do  
Ad with every step together, we just keep on getting better  
So can I have this dance?  
Can I have this dance?

Kurt is out of breath and out of words. But Sam knows the answer is yes.

* * *

_Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me?  
__Oh, things are gonna happen naturally  
__I'm taking your advice now, I'm looking on the bright side  
__And balancing the whole thing_

_But at often times those words get tangled up in lines  
__And the bright side turns to night  
__Until the night it brings  
__Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me_

_Cause you and I both loved  
__What you and I both spoke of  
__And others just read of  
__Others only read of the love, the love that I love_

_See, I'm all about the words  
__Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words  
__Hundreds of pages pages pages of words  
__More words that I have ever heard and I feel so alive_

_You and I, you and I  
__Not so little you and I anymore  
__And with this silence brings a moral story  
__More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy_

_Cause you and I both loved  
__What you and I both spoke of  
__And others just dream of  
__And if you could see me now  
__Well I'm almost finally out of  
__I'm finally out of  
__Well I'm almost finally finally  
__Well I'm free, oh I'm free_

_And it's ok, If you had to go away  
__Just remember that the telephone works both ways  
__And if I never ever hear them ring  
__If nothing else I'll think the bells inside  
__Have finally found you someone else, and it's okay  
__Cause I'll remember everything you sang_

_Cause you and I both loved  
__What you and I both spoke of  
__And others just dream of  
__And if you could see me now  
__Well I'm almost finally out of  
__I'm finally out of  
__Well I'm almost finally finally  
__Well I'm almost finally finally finally out of words._


End file.
